I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
