Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
