is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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