are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
