My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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