She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
