If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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