is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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