oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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