so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize