We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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