It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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