I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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