hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
