He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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