I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
