Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
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I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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