So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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