His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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