4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize