I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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