my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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