Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
