I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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