Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

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  (586): I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating' (586): I thought that was really considerate http://tfl.nu/g1h7
  Replies (3) Good night (2645) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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  (845): even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point. http://tfl.nu/9fmk
  Replies (18) Good night (748) Bad night (2670)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.

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  (318): When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly. http://tfl.nu/g0dv
  Replies (7) Good night (3245) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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  (740): Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night http://tfl.nu/r09y
  Replies (9) Good night (5075) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11781) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5893) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake

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  (315): i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake http://tfl.nu/sp6n
  Replies (9) Good night (2940) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

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  (228): Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know? http://tfl.nu/qpy1
  Replies (10) Good night (1925) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

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  (250): IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? http://tfl.nu/uqe9
  Replies (5) Good night (746) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"

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  (908): When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!" http://tfl.nu/ui55
  Replies (4) Good night (1377) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

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  (612): ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO! http://tfl.nu/1dq3
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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  (425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

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  (402): REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES. http://tfl.nu/6ntk
  Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.

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  (703): He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3aao
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!

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  (586): Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!! http://tfl.nu/ndto
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (152)

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