like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm getting married
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.