you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
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Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
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Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my liver is dry heaving
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.