i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
