good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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