I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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