one two three fourrrrnication!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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