My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
