is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
our cab driver is having phone sex.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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