I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
