hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
4 words: hood of his car
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
