I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
