dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
