She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
