Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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