He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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