Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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