you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
