It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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