I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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