What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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