In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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