just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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