would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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