Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
