At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
