Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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