it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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