I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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