That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
