i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize