No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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