Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
