I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
