his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if i died would you start the facebook group?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
